Saturday, December 26, 2009

Ali Williams eh? What a fountain of wisdom he is. It seems the big All Black lock has declared that we New Zealanders should be more positive. From this statement, I am positive that Williams is positive that we should be more positive.
Having arrived home from his overseas hiatus, Williams, it seems, is not a happy chappy. Having clearly been off in search of that northern most tip of positivity, he apparently has found it. And it isn’t here in New Zealand. Williams is not amused.
You see, while all of his fellow pros were slugging their guts out on the field, Williams was having a rest and relaxation period, in America. What does he need rest for, you ask? For the 2011 world cup of course. Wouldn’t want to catch one of those injuries you can sustain from actually playing, would you. That would be negative.
And not for Williams one those negative playing stints in Europe, like Dan Carter. So much easier to go to America and delight in their cultural positivity. At least, that is where I’m hoping he went and not searching along the yellow brick road. Let’s just hope he hasn’t come back too rusty from his trip to a faraway land and is ready to roar when the 2010 season begins.
To be fair though, at least Williams has something to say. Which being positive, I have to say is a rather good thing in today’s homogenised sporting climate. But we certainly should be more positive, as he claims. After all, let’s look at the positives of his hiatus. It gave others a chance to shine in his absence. Good thinking, Ali. No injuries for Williams. More good thinking, Ali. And the most positive thing of all for Ali? Well, he’s on a rather large retainer, which means he gets paid regardless of whether he plays or not. Magnificent thinking, Ali. The man is truly full of tremendously positive ideas.
How dare we, the public, be negative about Ali’s performance? I mean, how we can say anything bad about his on field displays when he is very rarely on the field. Duh.
Let’s search for some of the positives in the sporting year of 2009, shall we?. As Williams has said, there is much to be positive about. Take Tiger Wood’s for example. Taken a bit of a battering of late hasn’t he. A little unfair, I think, when you consider that he has clearly taken the time to be positive and teach his wife, Elin, how to swing a golf club properly. What’s even more positive, for Elin at least, is that one swing could net her $US300 million dollars. Now that is one hell of a positive payday.
And while on Tiger, why be so negative as too restrict yourself too only your lovely wife, when you can find a positive use for your spare time by sleeping with fourteen other women.
Ali would certainly be proud of this kind of positivity.
Rugby league has a lot to be positive about. Newcastle Knights prop, Danny Wicks, has obviously found it in his heart too be extremely community minded. How else can you explain his actions of allegedly selling drugs as a sideline earning. No wonder he was prepared to sign a lower contract. And what a positive service to the youth of his local community he provides.
Admittedly not this year, but a couple of years back, in cricket we have had Jesse Ryder putting his fist through a window. The owner of the window, I’m sure, must have been mighty pleased, as it is always a positive to be able maintain the upkeep of one’s property. And what better opportunity, than to have Jesse put his hand through a window to do this.
Tennis has got in on this positivity act as well. Serena Williams (no relation to Ali, I’m pretty certain) decided that she would get rid of the nonsensical grunting that resides in Tennis and be positive in a forceful way, by hurling a barrage of abuse at a lines woman. Serena, the caring soul that she obviously is, must have decided it would be a positive for this lines woman to learn a few extra choice words. Nothing so positive as too enlarge one's vocabulary, is there.
There, you see, Ali Williams is right, there is plenty to be positive about in the world today. As someone once sang,we don’t know lucky we've got it.
And you know what? I’m absolutely sure that Ali Williams would positively delight in all this positivity.

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