Thirty-six points go missing
New Zealand Warriors management, in conjunction with the NRL have called in the Parramatta police to investigate the alleged theft of thirty-six points, tonight at Parramatta Stadium. Warriors management have accused the Parramatta side of stealing the points, but Parramatta players have countered this with accusations of poor defence on the part of Warriors players.
In what turned out to be an easy case to investigate, sources from within Parramatta police have said that the only offence they will be charging the Parramatta players with, is that of being in possession of more than their fair share of ball over the first twenty minutes of the match. Parramatta coach, Daniel Anderson conceded that they could not defend this charge as the facts were undeniable. However, he did say that he was pleased that once they got hold of this possession, they used it in what he considered a meaningful way, and was sure their team's fans would forgive them.
In a twist of irony, the same sources have claimed that the Warriors players and coaching staff would be charged with aiding and abetting their rivals in running up an inordinately large score. Also, a charge of poor defence will be levelled at them.
Both lots of defendants are expected to appear in court on Monday morning. Warriors coach, Ivan Cleary, bristling with fierce indignation when told of the charges, claimed credit should be given to the Parramatta attack. While Parrematta's attack was good, experts say that this does not allow for a 40-4 defeat and that the Warriors defence of their defence will not stand up in court.
It is expected that, while all members of the team tried their utmost, most Warrior's players will come in for strong sentencing, but Manu "the beast" Vatuvei will survive with his reputation intact, after a strong showing, which included one try from a Stacey Jones last tackle kick. Sound familiar? While it is to be conceded that a try is a try, this appears to be the Warrior's definition of an attacking play. Their only one, all season, it seems. As one of historys great wits, Oscar Wilde, once wrote, "to define is to limit".
On the other side, while Parramatta did commit one of the seven deadly sins, Gluttony, during the first twenty minutes, at the very least they used it with an effervescent zest that was too net them three tries in that same time span. In the case of the first and third tries, they were both instigated by the best player on the field, Jarrod Hayne. Both times he severed the Warriors defence, to set up Joel Reddy and Matthew Keating, who both scored close to the goalposts.
With those and one other to Daniel Mortimer, Parramatta were already ahead, 18-0. Vatuvei got his touchdown in the 32nd minute. That was to be the Warrior's first and last joy of what was a soul searching eighty minutes. Up until then, there had only been one team in the match. From then onwards, there was only one team in it.
The remaining fifty minutes brought dividends for Parramatta, in the nature of four more tries. Except for one, the rest were converted by Luke Burt. Which will go along way to helping secure Parramatta a top eight birth. Before the match they had a points deferential of -46. Those conversions not only helped secure a large win, but brought the deferential back to -12. This will be crucial in their charge for a finals berth.
For the Warriors, they tried different playing staff, but it proved to be a case of another week, another loss. The season's end can't come soon enough for them.