Twenty-eight year old, six foot two sexually adventurous rugby league winger from Canberra who enjoys animals (dogs in particular), looking to meet a like minded lady.

Must not mind sharing her man, as this one likes to swing on occasions. But don’t worry too much, will you; it’s only with a dog that he will cheat on you with. So much better, you see, than slinking off to a revendous with another woman.

So, come on ladies, this one’s a real winner. Get in fast before he gets taken by an adoring high class lady. For what woman could possibly resist a man that possesses such high moral integrity as Joel Monaghan clearly does.

When deciding as to whether or not you will take the plunge and date this guy, even knowing that he has been photographed simulating a sex act with a dog during a mad Monday celebration, please do take into account that according to our animal loving friend, this was nothing more than a prank gone wrong.

This, of course, makes it so much better than if he was indulging in sex with a dog in a serious manner. And do remember that he was drunk, which means he cannot possibly be expected to take responsibility for his own actions.

After all, it was the alcohol that poured itself into his glass which just conveniently decided to park itself exactly in the right place for the alcohol to come out of a tap into said glass. Then, of course, the glass inadvertently lifted itself up to the level of Monaghan’s mouth and forced its way down his throat totally against his will.

So, a bonus, then, that you have had an opportunity to see your potential suitors rather unique take on life.

For his sake, you may even wish to turn a blind eye to the fact that alcohol generally loosens one’s personality up. The real you will more often than not come out. Thus, one is more inclined to act in a fashion that shows their true character. And what a revelation Monaghan’s personality has been.

The chances are that in all probability Monaghan’s career is all but over and will never play another game of rugby league. This is good for you ladies, though, as he will have extra time to devote to being a loving partner to you. What more could you possibly want than a man that will spend time with you? Well, that is if he can drag himself away from showering attention on his dog. Literally.

Good then that he will have plenty of spare time to devote to you as he is now pretty much unemployable. Not only will rugby league rid themselves of him, but, he is unlikely to gain meaningful employment in the likes of rugby union either. None of these codes are going to want the bad publicity that will follow him wherever he goes.

So, money won’t be in plentiful supply. But money isn’t everything is it? Just think, on the positive side of things, you will have such a wonderful man that can impart his most worthy of morals and values on your future offspring. What a lucky bunch they will be.

I mean, he will have all that extra time to contemplate just what he has done.

Time for Joel to hopefully see how repulsive and repugnant what he has done, is. That society does not and never should accept and tolerate this type of behaviour.

And please don’t let him tell you that it was “just” a dog. Animals have the right to be treated with decency too. That’s why we have laws against cruelty towards animals.

Whichever of you lucky ladies that end up with Joel could help him to see the error of his ways. Maybe get him to one day seek redemption by helping to educate the youngsters of the future on what is acceptable behaviour in a modern liberal society.

It’s those youth of the early teenage years that need to be targeted in regards to educating the future of rugby league on what is right and what is wrong. Attitudes have to change over time. To paraphrase a certain shampoo ad of the past, “it won’t happen overnight, but it will happen”. Or should that be “it won’t happen overnight, but it could happen”.

So there is no point trying to change the current mob as these attitudes are far too ingrained. You could get rid of mad Monday’s. That may stop some of the lunacy that goes on, but it won’t change the attitudes of players.

Go for the next generation, then maybe in ten years time we will have a game played by young men that respect society’s norms and respect the game of rugby league enough not to attempt to bring it to its knees.

Often in rugby league, you will hear players talk of another committing a “dog act”. This is usually referring to an act of foul play such as eye gouging or biting.

The ultimate irony of Monaghan’s actions is that he really has committed a dog act.

So, ladies, do you wish to tame the dog?